RANT: RETARDHAND

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--- rant began at 1:18am on 2007.08.25

I know I do not speak for everyone in this.  In fact I am sad to say I am certain I speak for a minority of people. 

Retardhand.  Also known as AOL Speak.  Let me provide as many examples as my brain can come up with, starting with the most common.

u r y b4 gr8 n a10d

People call it shorthand.  Let me explain shorthand for you in as many was as I can come up with.

1. A system of rapid handwriting employing symbols to represent words, phrases, and letters.
2. A system, form, or instance of abbreviated or formulaic reference: “The classical error is to regard a scientific law as only a shorthand for its instances” (Jacob Bronowski)

Take a look at this website.  This is where the definition came from.  On the page is a list of digispeak.  Shorthand for computer users.  Nowhere on the fucking list is y, r or u.  Because IT'S NOT SHORTHAND, YOU FUCKING RETARDS.  It's retardhand.  And those of us with brains immediately recognize that anyone using it is fucking retarded. 

AFK is an example I use. away from keyboard. 18 strokes.  16 letters, two spaces.  18 keystrokes. afk. 3 strokes.  that's a 15 keystroke save.  you.  u. 3 to 1.  saves 2 keystrokes.  saves 2 keystrokes.  you save 2 fucking keystrokes.

the god damn motherfucking idiots tell me, they type slow.  WELL TYPE OUT FULL FUCKING WORDS WHEN THEY'RE UNDER FIVE LETTERS AND YOU'LL GET SOME GOD DAMN PRACTICE.  I type in caps so the dumbfucks who probably have beatoff and gape jelly all over their face and glasses have an easier time reading this.  if they even remember where their glasses are.  and i assume they wear glasses because they are so stupid it obviously distorts shapes of things on their retarded body, including eyeball shape.  and distorted eyeballs equal distorted vision.

It saddens me when people I love and or respect use it.  I see it at work and in my personal life with friends I've grown to admire.  Then I sit and watch them type and think to myself, FUCK. After that, almost always, I start to pay actual attention to things other than they are funny and cool.  They also turn out to be fucking brick shit stupid.

In World of Warcraft I started a guild where retardhand is banned.  That  guild is still alive two years later.  I haven't played on the server the guild was formed on in over a year, but when I check in it's still banging hardcorestylez.  I don't know if that rule is still in effect.  I sure hope so.a

--- rant ended at 1:48am on 2007.08.25

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